Who We Were Before by Leah Mercer

Author:Leah Mercer [Mercer, Leah]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781503938151
Publisher: Lake Union Publishing
Published: 2016-09-30T21:00:00+00:00

36

ZOE, OCTOBER 2010

As soon as I open my eyes, the knowledge hits me: today I’m getting married. Today, I will promise to love, cherish and honour Edward, until death do us part. The words roll around in my head and I haul myself upright, nausea making me groan. But I know it’s not nerves for the impending ceremony; it’s the baby inside. Now that I’ve accepted that my future is written, all my anxiety about forever has stopped barking in my brain, like a small yappy dog you’ve finally made friends with.

I shake my head, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. If I’d have known vanquishing my marriage phobia was that easy, Edward and I never would have broken up in the first place. But in a strange kind of way, I’m glad we did. It only confirmed how much we want to be together, even if it did take a baby to get me to push the final button.

My hand moves to my stomach. It’s still early days – I’m about three months along – but I’ll always be grateful to this little one for bringing me and Edward together again. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t got pregnant? I’d like to think we’d have found each once more, but the outcome might have been different.

Funny how I thought a newborn was the ultimate death knell for a new marriage, back when Kate told me she was pregnant. Now, it’s been our saviour. And although I’m still terrified, I’m so excited to meet this baby, this perfect mix of Edward and me. Kate will be there every step of the way too – I’ve already warned her to expect frantic phone calls morning, noon and night. Thank goodness she had her baby first so she knows what to do. Watching her with Olivia, I know it will be hard . . . but I also can’t wait to feel my child’s chubby arms clutch me tight, or to rock it gently off to sleep.

‘You’re getting married today!’ Kate jumps on my bed, and I groan again as it bounces up and down. I swear, she’s more excited than I am, even though it’s not the ceremony she would have wanted. In fact, it’s the opposite of her elaborate affair. With just a month of planning – call me vain, but I still wanted to be able to fit into a size twelve – we’ve decided on a small ceremony room at Islington Town Hall, with only Kate and Giles, along with our parents, as guests.

I smile, thinking of when we first told our parents we were getting married – and having a baby. Of course I’d met Edward’s mum and dad before: lovely, but a little distant and cold, as if they don’t want to get too close to you (Edward’s mother even does air kisses). I’d hoped the news of a grandchild might melt them a bit, but they kept their composure as always as I babbled on about due dates and morning sickness.

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